Welcome To ONLY JOKING

Joke 1:

One day a woman goes into a chemists to buy some tampons, when she notices a sign saying five boxes of tampons for a dollar. She thinks to herself "That cannot be right". So she goes to the counter and asks about it.
The shop assistant answers "Yes, no strings attached."

Joke 2:

A sergent in the army has to go away for a week so he leaves his three privates to look after. He warn them that if they do anything with his daughter they will be thrown out the army. Before he goes he leaves a razor blade up his daughters cunt
When he returns he goes up to the first private and tells him to drop his trousers. When he does his dick has been choped off so the sergent throws him out the army. The second one drops his trousers and he has all cuts on his dick so the sergent throws him out the army. The third and final private drops his trousers and there is his dick in perfect condition, the private says to him "Well done I knew I could trust you".
"Thank you sir" the privated said very muffled

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Joke 3:

One day a man goes to his local doctor because he has terrible stomach pains. The doctor tells him he is very ill, but can cure the man with a course of suppositories inserted deep into his arse every 6 hours. "Right" says the doctor, "bend over and I will do the first one for you.". The man bends over and the doctor sticks it deep into his arse. He then gives the man his course and sends him home.
At home six hours later the man realises that he can`t stick the suppositories far enough down his arse on his own, and he asks his wife to help him. His wife puts one hand on her husbands shoulder to brace herself then thrusts it in. To her horror the man gives a blood-curdling scream .
"My god" she cries "whats the matter? Have I hurt you?"
"No" replies the man "but I have just realised that the doctor had both hands on my shoulders when he did it."

Joke 4:

Have you heard about George Michaels Latest Release?
All over the toilet wall.

If you have any suggestions, comments or even any jokes that you know then please e-mail them me at:
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