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Joke 1:

An english irish and Scots Man decide that they wish to join the CIA. They each go to the headquaters where they meet an officer who tells them that they must pass a test that will prove that they are loyal to the cause. After each one agrees to take the test they are told what they have to do.
"I will give you a gun and you will have to walk down to that cabin where your wife will be tied to a chair, then you must shoot her dead. If you fail this test then you will not be allowed into the CIA."
First up the English man walks down to the cabin holding the gun. After about five minutes he walks out again with his head held down. "I just cannot do it, Sorry."
Next the Scotish man walks down to the cabin holding the gun. After about ten minutes he walks out again in tears. "I cannot bring myself to do it, I guess I am not up for this type of work."
Lastly the Irish man walks down to the cabin, first there is a few gun shots, then a minute later there is a couple of loud bangs. Then five minutes later the Irish man walks out. "Some idiot had loaded the gun with blanks, so I beat her to death with the chair!"

Joke 2:

There was an English, Irish and Scots Man. Each are told that they are going to be locked up for ten years, but they can choose an endless supply of anything for throughout the time that they are locked up for.
The English man is asked what he wants before he is put in his cell. "Women!" he replies, so he is locked up in a cell full of beutiful women.
Then before the Scots man is locked up he is asked what he wants, "Whisky!". So his cell is filled up with cases of whisky.
Finally the Irish man is asked what he wants, he replies "Cigs!", so his cell is filled up with ten years supply of cigs.
After ten years each one is let out, first stumbles the English man and says "That was Great!!". Secondaly the Scots man staggers out and mutters "Wow, that was a great ten years!". Finally the Irish man walks out "Has anyone got a light!"

 

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