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Tasteless Jokes

Joke 1:

When does Michael Jackson know it is bedtime ?
When the big hand touches the little hand.

Joke 2:

A local paper in Leeds carries an advert for the job "cunt shaver". So a young hopeful rings the number shown, and a man answers the phone and asks him some questions. "First things first, Are you single ?"
"Oh, yes, " says the applicant.
"Thats good." says the man "we`ve had a lot of trouble in the past with people who are married. Their wives get annoyed. Now secondly, do you have a current passport ?"
"Yes." says the young applicant.
"Brilliant, " says the man. "Often we find that people have a problem with travelling all over the globe and staying in top class hotels."
"Oh not me I love to travel" says the young hopeful.
"Great" says the man "And what about supermodels? Do you think you would have a problem with getting close to the most beutifull women in the world? You might even have to party with them and keep them company. How would you deal with that ?"
I`d be fine, " says the applicant "I love talking to women and I don`t think I would be intimidated."
"Excellent, " says the man "Now what about the shaving of a cunt? would you get flustered peeling bikini bottoms of beutiful women, foaming them up and shaving there pubic regions? This sort of intimicy can often make a man all fingers and thumbs, you know."
"No way, " says the young man "I have no problem with nudity or intimacy with gorgeous women. I`d be both discreet and charming."
"Well" says the man "You sound as if you could be the perfect man for the job. I`ll post you a ticket to Florida."
"Is that where my first job is ?" asks the applicant.
"Oh no" says the man "that is where the queue for interviews finishes."

 

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Joke 3:

What do you call an ethiopean in docker boots ?
A golf club.

Joke 5:

What do you do if you see an ethiopean drowning in the sea?